Even though I’m seeing midwives (a practice of CNMs) I’m afraid of the potential to have a birth like the one you describe. I’m not even afraid of any particular procedure, but I am afraid of someone doing something to me without my consent. I’ve heard too many stories about doctors and midwives misleading their patients about their pregnancies, health conditions, and risks of certain procedures. I’ve repeatedly heard of a health-care-provider stripping a woman’s membranes without her knowledge or consent, surreptitiously sneaking pitocin into an IV started for fluids only, “accidentally” rupturing her membranes, etc. Even the lesser stories, of a nurse physically putting a leg somewhere or a lactation consultant grabbing a breast before introducing herself make me ill. It upsets me that I may have to practice defensive decision-making, refusing vaginal exams so no one can touch my membranes without asking first, refusing an IV so no one can sneak anything in. And I feel I can’t share these fears with my midwives, because they’ll be insulted that I would think that they would do anything without my consent. And it won’t change their behaviour either way. But I know trusted midwives have betrayed their clients’ trust in the past.

Anyway, I hope you become a midwife, and I’m happy for all the women in the future who will have someone who sees them as human beings, not uteruses in a fleshy case, not disasters waiting to happen. Good luck.