I Would Like to Uncross the Wires in My Brain, Now
Why? Why am I astonished at how much better I feel after eating lunch? “Wow, I don’t feel draggy and awful anymore!” my brain says. Clearly, my brain is an idiot. Because it has turned off whatever little switch that goes “You know, you’re hungry. Eating would be nice. Food tastes good.” Instead I just stay hungry, get droopy, then have to make myself go get some food. Then feel surprised all over again.
All my life, I’ve had the opposite problem, too, which is what makes it even more confusing.
I have to assume it’s hormones jamming the lines, because it happened first trimester, let up the second, and showed up again as soon as I started the third. I need a lot of food these days, and yet my appetite centers have hung up a “Gone Fishin’” sign and shut things down. Nothing actually seems appealing to me until the second I eat it; wave whatever delicacy you want in front of me, and I think “Nah. Too much trouble.” But then if I actually eat it, it tastes fine and I finish it all. What kind of fucked up evolutionary missing screw causes this? No idea. But it’s annoying.