New midwifery blog I found

December 30th, 2006

A really beautifully-written one too, called El Paso Adventure in Midwifery. She is training at Maternidad de la Luz in El Paso, a place I have considered going to for midwife training; it’s one of the only places in the country with a comprehensive on-site program for CPMs. They do serve a mostly border, Mexican-American clientele, and I would need to learn Spanish first, which is a big barrier for me. But not insuperable, just challenging.

It’s not cheap, and means living in El Paso for one to three years depending on which program you pursue, and I have no idea how that would even work for me and my family. I’ve never been west of Abilene, so that part of Texas is mysterious to me. And a little scary. But unlike some other schools I’ve looked at, it wouldn’t require moving to Oregon or another faraway state; I’d still be close enough to see my family semi-regularly.

And yet still: scary. And a long ways off, if it happens at all.

Still, it feels lucky to have stumbled across the blog of someone already doing this work who can help me see what it might be like. And she catches lots of babies, which is the best part of reading midwife blogs–the birth stories. I’m always looking for new ways to feed that addiction.

Pictures to come, but in the meanwhile I’ll bore you with words

December 25th, 2006

Times I watched Rudolph the Stop Motion Reindeer and A Charlie Brown Christmas: 3. I don’t know, ABC kept showing them when I was home.

Times I got through It’s a Wonderful Life: 1/10th of one viewing. For some reason that movie depressed me this year. Plus, I keep disliking Donna Reed more and more–talk about a serious lack of ambition; she wanted to marry George from the age of 8, and in the non-George world, would’ve have been an old spinster librarian (horrors!). Surely there were some other decent men in town, at least? And for all her devotion to George, she does not seem to be in the least bit interested in his dreams or have any inkling why he might be going round the bend. They need counseling.

Times I saw The Grinch (original, not Scary Jim Carrey version), A Christmas Story, and any other Christmas movie I usually watch: 0. Not enough time, not enough energy this year.

Favorite presents given: Fingerpainted artworks by Nathan to his great grandmas, framed. They loved them, and I felt very clever having thought that up.

Favorite present received: Nathan walked two steps for me this morning. Merry Christmas, kiddo! It’s just what I wanted.

Solstice

December 21st, 2006

My job is in the unfashionable part of town, the old industrial district, and I take a semi-abandoned highway to get there and back every day so I won’t have to face the interstate. My trip takes me past railroad tracks and through what’s left of a small town which lost its soul to the new big highways that sliced it in half, past the fragments of old farms, past motorcycle repair shops and carnacerias and kosher Middle Eastern butcher shops. As I get closer to the city the landscape segues into used semi-truck sales lots, garden statuary factories, print shops, and other odd out of the way businesses you never think about until you need them, interspersed with buildings that used to have a purpose but are now unwanted. The road is battered but it seldom gridlocks, though you never go over 40 miles an hour, and you are liable to get flattened by a double-trailer truck trying to turn a dicey corner.

I’m used to appraoching Dallas from the big highways, which frankly is where it looks the worst, hideous and wrapped in crumbling ribbons of gray concrete. But driving in on this stepchild road, you can see leftover bits that are still lovely–old bridges with Art Deco trim, houses that were once grand, what’s left of the Trinity River. And open space, which you never see in the newer rich neighborhoods, with their big aggressive overdone houses shoved up shoulder to shoulder, without yards or sidewalks or anything that might give them personality.

You also see lots of rusting barbed wire, hitchikers and homeless guys collecting trash, decaying fast food signs, pollution, and places where you know you don’t want to be stranded after dark. Despair and desolation and cold nights huddling in doorways for the ones who are stuck here.

But above all that is a wondrous view. The low buildings of the bad part of town leave lots of room for sky, and the sky in Texas is spectacular when you get to see it unobstructed, a gigantic theater arch for wind and moisture and sunlight to show what they can do in all their glorious random perfection. And right there in front of you, against that sunrise sky, are the gleaming glass towers of Dallas rising from the flat plain like Oz. Even the blunt green spear of the Fountain Place building or clumsy, outdated architecture of Reunion arena seem graceful in that light.

On the way home there are no cityscapes, but you drive into the sunset and get every last drop of it as it flickers away through the trees and drains from the roofs of the old houses and the factories. You feel that strange nostalgic feeling of a winter sunset, that glad sort of sadness, the shiver as the cold surges back, frost on the grass and the brave beauty of the decrepit farmhouse covered in dozens of strings of green and gold and white Christmas lights, crouched and defiant against the dark, long night.

The end of this year=hallelujah

December 9th, 2006

I’m a little early on this post, but the end of the year is nigh, and I personally cannot wait to throw away all my 2006 calendars and move on.

Now there have been good things about this year, don’t get me wrong.

But I will be SO GLAD it’s over. It was the hardest year of my life so far, bar none. C-section recovery, postpartum depression, newborn baby, breastfeeding no worky, cross country move, quitting good job, finding temp jobs, finding mediocre job, finding good job, Xtreme poverty (as xtreme as you can get w/out public assistance), the Worst Intestinal Flu Ever (flattened me for a WHOLE WEEK, people)…and wait, I think that’s it. Or all the biggies.

So yeah, while I’ve had posts about how thankful I am (and I am) to family, friends, etc. for good things, this year won’t be missed by me at-all. Buh bye 2006. Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.

The only thing I will be more glad to see go is W. himself, but I have to wait 2 years for that, unless he gets impeached in a sudden miracle of justice. But I’m not holding my breath.

Ghaaack-hack-blah

December 2nd, 2006

Coughing. Can’t stop the (&)%*&^*( coughing. Mine or Nathan’s. Throat feels tight and achy, though I’m not really congested otherwise.

Nathan….poor baby. He’s got this cough…and congestion..and teething…and fever. He coughed so hard at one point tonight he threw up. Right now it’s past 3am, and all I can do is let him stay up and watch Bear in the Big Blue House DVDs and wait for the urgent care clinic to open at 8. I would take him to the ER but they’re so slow and expensive..I’m better off just waiting till morning. Plus hospitals are such germ factories, I’d rather not sit in the waiting room with 50 other sick people. We couldn’t get hold of his pediatrician all day Friday..their phone system was wacky or something.

He already took a course of antibiotics last week, so I’m not sure what they can prescribe him. But he can’t sleep more than a few hours and over the counter meds don’t seem to make much of a dent in the fever/cough/congestion. I’m afraid he’ll get an infection or pneumonia or something equally nasty.

And I should probably get checked out too, I suppose. I don’t have time to be sick! Matt has a book to finish by his drop dead deadline this weekend, I have shopping to do–but the baby is sick, and none of that can be important for now.

blargh.