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© All text and images copyright 1999-2004 emjaybee
Give a hoot.Don't steal.

1. Curiosity I guess I'll just sign up with these classified services. Village Voice seems reputable. Craigslist seems promising. We'll just take our time and look around. No hurry.
2. Determination Dang.. So many listings. I must read every one! Must compare! Must figure out what "flr through" means! Dang! More listings! Why is there no search function on these crappy Village Voice ads I just forked over 24.00 to subscribe to?? Why???
3. Excitement Ooh, look at..oh. Broker. Oooh, that sounds nice...oh. Guess that's in the Bronx. Hey, that looks good. And it's still open! Let's go look at it!
4. Disappointment $1050?? For this hole? I had to walk twelve blocks from the train through a phalanx of hobos! There's razor wire on the windows! You didn't even clean up the mouse poop on the floor! No thank you. Jerks.
5. Disgust What is WRONG with people?? You want me to pay 250.00 up front for a list of apartments that "might" actually exist?? Look, I don't know who your customers are, but even in Texas we don't fall for that. I didn't just fall off the turnip truck, mister.
6. Anger Why? WHY IS THERE NO SEARCH FUNCTION FOR THE 500 NEW VILLAGE VOICE ADS I HAVE TO READ ONLINE EVERY DAY??? WHY???
7. Acceptance I must be Zen. I will only read the ads I can manage. I will not spend all my work time searching. Must Zen. The apartment will come.
8. Confusion WHY NO SEARCH FUNCTION????
9. Surprise You think we have a 90% chance? This apartment isn't even a rathole! It's actually quite nice. And you?? You're located in midtown? Also not a rathole? I'm amazed!
10. Cautious Hope Maybe that guy will call us today and let us know. Maybe I'll just search the Voice ads while I wait....WHY IS THERE NO #&*^$# SEARCH FUNCTION??????
    
11. Elation We got it!
    
12. Buyer's Remorse But it's so....small. But it's so central! But so...small....think happy thoughts. Sure you signed away your life for a year to a tiny apartment that will barely hold your futon...think happy thoughts. At least you won't have to read any more Voice ads.
    
13. Guilt Oh, gee, Mr. Broker, I tried to call you and let you know that we took the other place. What? Your kid won't be able to afford shoes now? Oh, that's too bad. I'm so sorry. I know we said we'd probably take it but that's how it goes...no I don't want you to put little Susie on the phone so I can explain why she's going to school barefoot. No, really, it's ok, I've gotta go. Sorry...bye.
    
14. Anxiety Oh! We need a bed! Oh! we need to arrange for our furniture to get up! And a phone! and electric! and a shower curtain! And a rental car for our stuff! And liquor. Definitely some liquor.
    
15. Relief Moved in, got my furniture and cat. In 11 months, maybe the pain will have faded enough to think about doing this again...where did I put that beer?