Fetch a lavache!

January 26

So I will be getting more me-time than I expected this month. Matt's assignment ended early, and he's going back to Texas for a week to wrap up the dribs and drabs of recording for his CD. He'll be gone for about a week. I told him to have a Whataburger for me.

Omar has a really great entry on Whataburger, and I have to agree. It's had a strangely important place in my and Matt's lives, mostly because it was the only place to go at 2 a.m. if you didn't want IHOP. I believe it was Whataburger that he and I sat in while he agonzied over changing the lineup in his band. It was where we went when we'd had a disagreement and needed to get out of the house and maybe eat a little something and talk. It was one of the places we made plans for our life together, and for moving to New York. It was the only place that respected my demand for a hamburger with nothing but lots of mustard and pickle slices on it.

Ah, Whataburgers. I miss hamburgers. I can't eat them anymore, you see, even though they're officially on my diet. Why? Because they made my hair fall out.

What?

Yep. Or rather, the hormone-pumped beef that most places serve makes my hair fall out.

Huh? How do I know?

Well, it was a four-step process:

1) I discovered five years ago that I'm so hormone-sensitive that the Pill gives me all kinds of bad side effects that many other women don't get. My doctors were mystified, because the side effects persisted even on the lowest dose pills. And so I gave up and found a non-hormone method. Side effects--gone.

2.) Before and after that, though, my hair was falling out...you could see my part was too wide, too much skin was showing. The hair on top was much thinner than it should be. It drove me crazy...I was only 30! There was no reason for it...I was in good health otherwise! But nothing seemed to make a difference. I actually contemplated getting a weave or taking those expensive hair-retaining drugs that they prescribe for men. It was either that or shave my hair off entirely, and then everyone thinks you're getting cancer treatments.

3.) About a year ago, I had switched to the Atkins diet, and so was consuming even more meat than previously. I had read some bits of info about the hormones fed to cows, and so I did more research. It's an enormous amount, friends. Supposedly, they are of a kind that doesn't effect humans, and are safe. Supposedly. But of course, so is the Pill--for many. And of course, the beef industry is the same industry that told us you coudn't get mad cow disease from infected feed. So, I decided to experiment. I switched to lamb, turkey, pork, chicken, and fish only, which are not fed those kinds of hormones. (I could also eat organic beef, if I could afford it. But that's another gripe.)

4.) My hair came back. It's pretty amazing, actually. My part looks normal. When I stand under an overhead light, you cannot see my scalp through my hair, like you could when I started. It took about a year to happen, but it happened.

Of course, this was hardly the scientific method. It's purely anecdotal. Your mileage may vary. But it convinced me.

And it makes me wonder---how many other women, who innocently consume beef they think is safe, stand in front of their mirrors and cry because they feel like a hideous balding freak? Think it's hard on a man to lose his hair? There is no acceptance in our society for a balding woman. Zip. Nada. And so somewhere, is some other woman shelling out money for expensive hair retaining prescriptions, or weaves and wigs, not understanding why this is happening to her? Thinking it's her body's fault, when maybe, she's just been lied to?

And what are the long-term effects? If hormone treatments raise a woman's susceptibility to breast cancer, what about hormone-fed beef?

The doctors say "Don't worry." But I can't help wondering.

(Reprint of a good New York Times article about the hormone-driven beef-raising process here.)

January 20

Thanks to MLK day, I've had 3 days at home, mostly in sweats and a bathrobe. In a weird, crazy hermit lady, shut-in sort of way, it's been heavenly.

Though wearing my blue plaid robe all the time does make me feel like Arthur Dent .

Right now I'm enjoying my Monday off by writing for you lovely people, trying to get my "family friendly" site up, and listening to Ciao. Who rokk.

Matt went to the march on Washington, but I stayed home from it without feeling an iota of guilt. My politics haven't changed, but I'm a creature of comforts who doesn't like traipsing about in the cold, using Porta Potties, eating backpack food, and mingling with the madding crowds for hours at a time. A person who also felt darn entitled to a day to herself, writing and piddling and working on projects without interruptions. Matt, bless him, understood and did some extra shouting for me.

Ladies, you should be so lucky to have such a guy. But I got him first, nyah.

Sunday Matt and I had quality time, and now I get this bonus day to myself. Ah. I feel rested and saner, which is good for me and everyone who has to deal with me.

Of course, I could be out museum-ing or bookstore-ing, but we're saving the cash at the moment. Also, it's deep-down, wind-that-peels-your-face-off cold out there. I'll put up with a little cabin fever to avoid it...brrrr! Right now I can look out at the cold sunshine from the window next to my computer and be grateful to have my little butt planted here so cozily.

And so that my free time isn't totally wasted, here's a new rant. Enjoy!

January 17

Phew. Two weeks of not being able to get to the computer, at all. Very hectic January, so far.

One of the hectic-making bits has been a site redesign I'm working on, including a sort of general spiffing-up that I've been wanting to do. But.

Now that Matt has his studio equipment back, he'll need the computer less, and I'm going to work very hard at updating more often..

Another time-user for me has been stumbling into a whole new group of web journals, magazine sites, and blogs that showcase some really good writing. I was starting to get into a rut of reading the same people over and over, and it's very exciting to find new writers in any media.

In fact, it's that reading that has taken up a lot of my brain space lately. My own desire to do some real, book-length writing has started to coalesce a little...I can actually visualize the projects I want to do, rather than just walk around with a vague feeling that I want to write but I don't know what about. I had to feed my Muse, I guess, or just myself with something more substantial than my old favorites.

Learning to write, to live and think as a writer, has been agonizingly slow for me. Partly it's my upbringing, but some of it's just my nature. I am slow to change, so much so that I often worry about dying before accomplishing anything of any use whatsoever because I've diddled around doing nothing in particular for so long.

Some part of my nature is just stubbornly slow, and pushing myself too fast only brings me grief, I've discovered. I have to work with the personality I was given. And provided I live long enough, that's fine.

So, check out the greatly expanded and updated Read Delicous.

January 2

Haven't had much time to update. Blame Matt, that computer hogger. Good thing he's cute. Christmas itself was nice, very low-key. In other words, boring. Aren't you glad I'm not describing it in detail to you? New Year's nicer, less boring, but I am too rushed to talk much tonight.

To make it up, here's a brief book review. More later this week.